Looing Good

I want to look sexy, red glossy pout with tanned skin,

Black smokey kohl eyes beauty on outside not in.

I want to be adored, men falling in my way,

For my skin to glow and hair to shine, please god do you think you could fix this for me one day?

Instead I have green powder, to deal with my hot flushes on face,

At thirty five still cant apply false lashes, they get stuck no not on my eyes but just about every other place.

Am I supposed to do dark eyes and red lips?

And why did no one ever fill me in on these 'look glam' tips?

I still have no idea what face shape that I own,

Or what hair style would suit it a 'Rachel cut' maybe, altho my hair has never much grown.

Extensions I got once a while ago, and still I didnt smile,

I resembled 'Captain caveman' so heavy they were and they got chopped after just a short while.

I guess we cant have everything, after all I have my razor sharp wit,

But nothing would please me more, than being able to attract a man akin to Pitt.

Clip in hair extensions next, oh please they so do not work on me,

My head never the right shape and the clips, joins and differences in colour I just cant blend, you will always see.

Thank god for one invention though, which without I would surely cry.

My GHD straightners, gift from heaven, they flatten my candy floss head making my hair somewhat easier on the eye.

Eyebrows though I have tried to wax but never really seen the appeal,

I mean red raw, burnt lids, how exactly is that supposed to make me feel?

Tweezers are good, small pain for great job,

And forget joleen, use tweezers too for the secret witch hairs we all get round our gob.

Down there though, ouch what a painfull thought,

The first self cream hair removal kit that as a teen I bought.

Smelt lovely, applied well, a landing strip I was going to own,

But left on a bit too long after a long flirt with boy whilst sitting on loo, talking on my phone.

Red raw it was, painfull to even sit down,

The hair had blocked the bath too in a big mush,

I declared that day for me it would always have to be a big bush, I'd have to be the big bushed lady clown.

Age hasnt made me better at these things, but I guess I have done okay,

I mastered plumping my stubby lashes and I still blow up my hairdryer every other day.

But still I flick through the glossy mags and gaze at the pictures in awe,

What I lack in expertise with application I think I gain with my ability to explore,

Without tit tape I have used a good super glue,

Okay removing maybe a tiny bit rough,

Have opted for chicken fillets for the bra as the million kleenez were slightly tough.

The lashes a no go have now gone for singles glued at the end,

Who says we have to follow the masses, it could prehaps start a trend?

Us girls will never be happy with the individual vessel that god gave,

And I will always want a boob job, right up till when I am put into my grave.